Aaaaaaaaand I did another one:
Do you even have kids if you don't get a pocket watch face with flowers?
I don't believe you.
I don't know how many more I can manage. The first one was a long time ago,
and there have been dozens since. I'll keep doing my best to make them all yours, but I'm going to need to charge a lot more, and donate the upcharge to a suicide prevention program, because these make me want to die.
The life that gets saved by your donation will probably be mine.